Monday, May 14, 2012

Mother's Day

Mother's Day was great. Austin had to work (as he does every Sunday) so that kinda stunk but I still enjoyed spending time with my girls. When he got home I got to open up my gifts. Austin got me the Book of Mormon on CD and yogurt covered pretzels. Oaklynn colored me 2 pictures...
and also gave me this figurine...
It represents Oaklynn. Rett girls are known as Silent Angles so that's what the wings stand for and she is signing love since she can't speak. Austin said it's so that I can look at it and remember how much Oaklynn loves me, even though she can't say it. I, of course, starting crying. I LOVE IT!

Being a mom has been the best. I love both my girls so much and love being able to not have to work and be there for them whenever they need me. I love the sweet innocence of a newborn baby. Kynslee is such a sweet little girl and loves to cuddle. She is starting to coo and smile and it's just the cutest.
 Oaklynn has hard days but always makes up for it by giving me one of her amazing contagious smiles sometime throughout the day...
She has the sweetest personality but yet is a SUPER big ham. She loves to babble and LOVES when she is sung to. She loves to cuddle and play. Since being her mom, I have learned so much about myself. She has taught me more than I could ever teach her and each day she continues to teach me what life really is about.
 We went to my parents house to have dinner with my family. Oaklynn has 11 cousins and she was the youngest until her cousin Max was born 10 weeks ago. I broke down at my parents and was having a rough day. The kind of day that I call a "Rett Day". Oaklynn was in a bad mood and was being really mean and wouldn't nap. I was also having a hard time listening to all the little kids tell their moms how much they love them and saying happy mothers day. 
Seeing those questionnaires that kids fill out asking about their parents was hard for me too. Like when you ask the child, what is your mom's favorite thing to do and they child responds and you write it down. I read a few of them that my friends shared and they were really cute but it got me to thinking that Oaklynn will never be able to fill out one of those. I will never get to hear her responses to those questions and I wont know what silly answers she would come up with.

Also hearing the primary kids in church get up and sing to their mom's made me tear up because I pictured Oaklynn up there as she gets older just sitting there as the other kids sing. Knowing how much she loves music and that she will never get to sing made me sad. It was just one of those days where you can't get Rett syndrome off your mind and everything everyone does reminds you that your child can't do that. I have one of those days every once and a while and it just had to happen on Mother's Day of all days.

Luckily I was with my family when I broke down and they all understood and some even cried with me. I love my family and am grateful to them for all their love and support.
I love both my girls VERY much and am grateful to be their mom.


Darcie said...

Whitney - I've been reading your blog and I'm so glad you are doing this - blogging, that is. Such a help to those of us who had never heard of Rhett Syndrome and have no idea what challenges it brings your sweet family's day to day life. You are an amazing mommy and the love Oaklynn has for you shows on her face. She is beautiful and so are you.

Jenn said...

the pictures you got from Mothers Day are so sweet, the angel made me tear up. What a perfect gift and the meaning. I am so thankful you have this blog for other moms out there who need to feel someone else understands and who want EVERYTHING for their daughter and will never give up. I understand there are rough days, overwhelming at times but you're a wonderful mom. I'm so glad you have loving family, as do I and they make those harder moments easier. One day at a time, each is a new day.